Murphy's Laboratory Laws

Experiments should be reproducible. They should all fail in the same way.

An experiment may be considered a success if no more than 50% of the observed measurements must be discarded to obtain a correspondence with the theory.

Murphy's laboratory law - hot glass looks exactly the same as cold glass.

Any tool, when dropped near an electron microscope, will roll under it to the least accessible point.

Corollary to the microscopy law:- On the way down, the dropped tool will first strike your toes.

Quantization revision of Murphy's laws - everything goes wrong all at once.

Murphy's law of thermodynamics: - Things get worse under pressure.

Murphy's Law of laboratory funding:-
1) Things will get worse before they get better.
2) Who said things would get better?

Don't anthropomorphize electron microscopes - they hate that.

The experimental method is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.

The sooner you fall behind, the longer you have to catch up.

Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch to be sure.

Are Black holes where God divided by zero?